I feel my life is changing, just a bit. I’m still laying in my dark bedroom, just before bed, discussing my inner thoughts.

I had a very tough beginning to my weekend. I got some distressing news about my daughter and the company she keeps. I made a decision, finally. I have to let go. I have to let go of trying to watch over her from a distance. And maybe some other possibly well intentioned (possibly not), might benefit from watching in… Whatever they witness. I don’t want to know anymore. I can’t allow this to hijack who I’m becoming.

I started to try to work on my room. I’ve been avoiding it for about a year. This is what it looks like…. Somewhat but not… Organized.

I cannot decide what to keep. Where to put things. How to make it perfect for me. How to entice creativity. How to make this room become my Zen space. Whatever. That the room embraces me. In much of my personality and what I choose to keep on this journey, with me.

I’m still figuring it out. In my head.

This is unpacking decades of complexities. Junk. Important documents. Things that do not work, will not work, incompatible, expired, unnecessary, and just gross. I’m loosening the grip on my mental programming. I’m seeing a future that might get better.

I have hope. That is something that I never entirely let go of.