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My Brain, What I Know about it…
I think I’ve referred to my thought process as either now or back then. I don’t think about my future. I’m deeply conflicted. I was told I’m going to Hell, but I’m living my life. My traumas are truly part of my story. And I own it. The story and all the chapters. I don’t…
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I am Deeply Flawed, yet I’m Wonderful
My family’s genealogy goes back a long, long way. I’m a Finnish descendent. I am part of the reason my family came to the United States. Well, not directly. It was my great great grandparents who came from Finland. That goes for both my maternal and paternal lines. As a family, we kind of celebrated…
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Racism
If you could erase one trend from history, what would it be? I wish I could erase the isms that have caused us as societies, such divides. It doesn’t have to be that way Everyone is capable of being awful, contemptible people. The color of skin does not determine it. The way certain people obtain…
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Outdated Tech that I Miss
Sometimes I wish the internet was not a thing. I miss the days when you could reliably watch tv (as a kid) once a week. I miss the fact that news was delivered on TV – not a thousand different ways to exploit human attention. I miss TV. Before a million options, tv stations, countries,…
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The Hard Years – 11 years-?
What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it? Having the trauma experience (s) I’ve had, it’s hard to pinpoint one period of time that was hardest. I’ve had multiple traumas during my formative years (11-18) and traumas during my adult years (19-continuing). Granted, many of…
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Something a Little Different – Why I Like “The Great North” – The Finnish American Perspective
As if you needed it…. However, here you are. Beef is the Patriarch. He’s an Alaskan, a fisherman, and has four great kids. All with some minor (ish) dependency issues. Beef is newly single. And he misses their mother, Kathleen Tobin. Kathleen gets “killed by a bear on the way to pick up childrens’ medicine…
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I Found an Outlet, So I’ll Continue
I feel like when it comes to my life, I haven’t truly lived. Not exactly. I’ve wanted to live according to MY TERMS. I wanted to feel safe, to feel seen, to be appreciated, and to be loved. I felt love from my mother. After my mother was unexpectedly in her vegetative state, I got…
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Right Now – Lower Michigan, Away!
I’ve made a lot of things happen in my life. And for the next four hours, I cannot anxiety clean. I know where to get food, where the bathrooms are, and I’ll just sit and type on my phone. I haven’t seen any charging ports…. So this should be fun for a short period. The…
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Different
I’m going to change things up quite a bit. I want to recount the things that have been great for me since 2020. Yes, can you believe it? Starting in 2020, I started to change. Personally. I started to see things. Differently. First off, I have always been one anxious monkey. I’m always thinking people…
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What If I Said It?
What if I told you that every day, I lost my sense of security in the world that I knew. The family I knew was crumbling and I just lost to the house? Right? I don’t think people wanted to remember. I could be haunting them. Me, Dianne, our Mom. Dianne would never see anything…
PTSD, My Life, My Changes 