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Something New
It all seems so surreal. As if it’s not me, but I know it is. My world feels absolutely upside down. I’m finding my voice again. I’ve begun to realize, despite saying it all these years that I’m not the sum of my parts. I’ve held on to this anger from so very long ago.…
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Strangest Feelings
I’ve come to a crossroads in my life. I’m nearing 45 years old and I’m an empty nester. My husband just recently quit smoking cigarettes – so, that’s happened. We’ve had improvements to our home including getting the electricity in our home updated, insulation in the basement, outer home lined with dirt and rocks to…
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Learning Cont’d
Damn. I guess I can only start by saying when I first started blogging I was so lost. I was so confused. And I was MEGA Angry. Life seemed to keep stuffing me down the shitter every turn I made. If I hadn’t gotten through an entire turn… that’s okay! Life would find a way…
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The Cranberries (Band, Not Fruit)
When I was a teenager, I discovered The Cranberries. Just like many American people, I fell in love. The sound, the beautiful sound. Oh my word, it was as if I found an angel singing through my radio. I spent countless hours singing with Dolores O’Riordan on the radio or on my electronic devices. That…
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Victimization Review
I believe that it’s really difficult to change a mind set. I was a victim, but now I’m a survivor. There are still times where I revert back into victim mode. Poor me, look at how I suffered. Instead of making circumstances in my life to define me, I’m walking a better truth. Despite all…
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Sometimes
Sometimes it’s hard to imagine that I’m grown up. I pictured myself at this age being so much more put together. And in many ways, I’m as imperfect as everyone else. I work hard, I have thoughts I think are absolutely right and everyone else’s opinions are ridiculous if they don’t match my own, I…
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Mom, Covid-19, Quarantine, and an ungrateful daughter
I fashion myself after someone relatively high maintenance with low maintenance goals. I’m high maintenance because psychologically, I know I’m unwell. I need validation more than a frequent visitor to a commercial parking facility. I’m still trying to build myself up when I have perceptions that life is trying to tear me down. Lately I’ve…
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Electronic Distractions
I find myself increasingly involved in electronic distractions. Instead of involving myself in things that adults should do, I play cell phone and tablet games. Then when all that fails, ps4 Diablo 3. I’ve beat the game … 3 times now and am playing segments in Torment 1 mode. I feel like as part of…
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Man, I need a Break!
I cannot begin to remember what I posted last, but I can honestly tell you so much has happened. The story is this: My daughter Ashleigh’s ex-boyfriend, Cody asked to talk to me. He and Ashleigh had a child together, Benjamin. Benjamin was in Children’s Hospital and had two different heart surgeries, was born premature,…
PTSD, My Life, My Changes 