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Strangest Feelings
I’ve come to a crossroads in my life. I’m nearing 45 years old and I’m an empty nester. My husband just recently quit smoking cigarettes – so, that’s happened. We’ve had improvements to our home including getting the electricity in our home updated, insulation in the basement, outer home lined with dirt and rocks to…
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Learning Cont’d
Damn. I guess I can only start by saying when I first started blogging I was so lost. I was so confused. And I was MEGA Angry. Life seemed to keep stuffing me down the shitter every turn I made. If I hadn’t gotten through an entire turn… that’s okay! Life would find a way…
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The Cranberries (Band, Not Fruit)
When I was a teenager, I discovered The Cranberries. Just like many American people, I fell in love. The sound, the beautiful sound. Oh my word, it was as if I found an angel singing through my radio. I spent countless hours singing with Dolores O’Riordan on the radio or on my electronic devices. That…
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Phone Calls
I’ve been horrible over the last few years with social media and technology. Since I’m a proponent of change, I want my loved ones to know who I am now. That I’m better. So…I made a phone call to a friend. For an hour and a half. I hadn’t talked to her like this since…
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Victimization Review
I believe that it’s really difficult to change a mind set. I was a victim, but now I’m a survivor. There are still times where I revert back into victim mode. Poor me, look at how I suffered. Instead of making circumstances in my life to define me, I’m walking a better truth. Despite all…
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Gratitude and Mindfulness
There are many reasons why I could complain on my blog today, but I won’t. I’m just going to take a few moments in 2021 to discuss the things I’m grateful for and why. I am grateful for things and people that make me laugh. Not laugh at them, tauntingly or painfully. Laughing as in…
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Honestly – 2020
It’s really quite awkward to say this, but I’ve had a major breakthrough about myself and my life this year. Life truly is about the suffering and how we conquer or fall apart. Life isn’t purely hell, it’s a huge challenge. MAJOR. I’m finally starting to feel like I’m NOT the sum of my problems.…
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Resilience for an Upcoming New Year
Let’s be honest with ourselves, this year has been challenging since the Covid-19 virus began. None of us are quite unchanged from the process. We all know who we are. For me, nothing is farther from the truth. I’ve spent a lifetime feeling like no one really knew who I was. Or even rationale behind…
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Mental Illness is Fucked
My brother thinks that church was something that you did. Your parents expected you to obey. And I agree. His experience was different than my own. He didn’t absorb the world I did. The church I knew isn’t the same as the one he knows and knew. He may have gotten hints about it’s imperfections…
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Sometimes
Sometimes it’s hard to imagine that I’m grown up. I pictured myself at this age being so much more put together. And in many ways, I’m as imperfect as everyone else. I work hard, I have thoughts I think are absolutely right and everyone else’s opinions are ridiculous if they don’t match my own, I…
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Learning about Me 