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Honestly – 2020
It’s really quite awkward to say this, but I’ve had a major breakthrough about myself and my life this year. Life truly is about the suffering and how we conquer or fall apart. Life isn’t purely hell, it’s a huge challenge. MAJOR. I’m finally starting to feel like I’m NOT the sum of my problems.…
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Resilience for an Upcoming New Year
Let’s be honest with ourselves, this year has been challenging since the Covid-19 virus began. None of us are quite unchanged from the process. We all know who we are. For me, nothing is farther from the truth. I’ve spent a lifetime feeling like no one really knew who I was. Or even rationale behind…
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Mental Illness is Fucked
My brother thinks that church was something that you did. Your parents expected you to obey. And I agree. His experience was different than my own. He didn’t absorb the world I did. The church I knew isn’t the same as the one he knows and knew. He may have gotten hints about it’s imperfections…
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Sometimes
Sometimes it’s hard to imagine that I’m grown up. I pictured myself at this age being so much more put together. And in many ways, I’m as imperfect as everyone else. I work hard, I have thoughts I think are absolutely right and everyone else’s opinions are ridiculous if they don’t match my own, I…
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Mom, Covid-19, Quarantine, and an ungrateful daughter
I fashion myself after someone relatively high maintenance with low maintenance goals. I’m high maintenance because psychologically, I know I’m unwell. I need validation more than a frequent visitor to a commercial parking facility. I’m still trying to build myself up when I have perceptions that life is trying to tear me down. Lately I’ve…
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Electronic Distractions
I find myself increasingly involved in electronic distractions. Instead of involving myself in things that adults should do, I play cell phone and tablet games. Then when all that fails, ps4 Diablo 3. I’ve beat the game … 3 times now and am playing segments in Torment 1 mode. I feel like as part of…
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Man, I need a Break!
I cannot begin to remember what I posted last, but I can honestly tell you so much has happened. The story is this: My daughter Ashleigh’s ex-boyfriend, Cody asked to talk to me. He and Ashleigh had a child together, Benjamin. Benjamin was in Children’s Hospital and had two different heart surgeries, was born premature,…
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Racism, The Threat Rages On….
“I Can’t Breathe…” George Floyd said these words before Minneapolis police officers on duty choked him and watched on without assist. Jacob Blake was shot seven times in the back in front of his wife and three children. Breonna Taylor was shot and killed where no ambulance was available to aid her in the five…
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Life IS Full of Surprises
I left one of my jobs in a bad way, many years ago. I wanted to tell my hotel boss this when I eventually sit down for my annual review. I suffered, badly. My ex husband was at this point in time a horrible father. He’d sleep, keep the doorknobs to the bedrooms tied together…
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Learning about Me 