PTSD, My Life, My Changes

Category: Rape

  • What I Remember

    I think we all live different lives. Yes. Our surroundings. Our families. Our cultures. The color of our skin. Our religions or lack there of. Our education. What we eat, what we drink. And how we adapt to our surroundings, peers, families, and overall life. I believe that one of my siblings may have things…

  • I’m Learning… I’m Listening

    At my age, one would think that my childhood wouldn’t bother me so much. And, in fairness, it’s not bothering me as much as it used to. I’m looking around. Taking in the spaces around me and what they really are. They’re not a threat. There’s not someone looking at me funny or talking about…

  • 5/18/25. I am finally enough

    I look at myself now, and I see things differently. When I was a teenager, I was allowed to do things I should never have done. I made choices to avoid being alone. And my ability to determine who was safe and was not, I had no ability to sense. I saw a very small…

  • Safety – Feeling Denied (Until I Left)

    I hated what the Upper Peninsula of Michigan represented as a kid. Many people from outside of that area looked at it as … well, undeveloped and people were hicks. Drink beer, go to jail, sing stupid songs, go to deer camp, and lose MANY MANY IQ points in the process. I didn’t feel like…

  • Tying it all together

    My life is a complicated mess. Tying together the family dysfunction, the RYR2 gene mutation, my rebelliousness, and the IALC (Independent Apostolic Lutheran Church – or Laestadianism.) My family (or at least four generations back) came from Finland. Lars Levi Laestadius created this religion called Laestadianism. It’s Lutheran. IALC is founded with the ideas of…

  • Let ME Talk About Sex

    Let me tell you something about me. I’m going to be very open about something I’ve never really been open about before. Please bare with me. This is NOT an easy topic for me. As a kid, sex seemed to be a topic that was left to the fifth grade classroom. It was dirty, it…