Category: PTSD

• June 22, 2024

  Where Am I?

  Good question. I’m here, I think. Trying to understand… Myself. Who I’ve started to become. I don’t think people (some more than others) realize how difficult it is to explain to someone how you feel. How awful and miserable it is. You convey the desperation of your situation and how it just feels neverending. It…
• March 29, 2024

  What IS PTSD? How Do I Have It?

  PTSD hasn’t been recognized for that long, clinically. PTSD is recognized globally as a Mental Health Diagnosis. It’s become part of the DSM in the United States in the 1980’s. Although it’s been described for approximately 3000 years. According to Herodotus’ description of an Athenian soldier that became blind after the Battle of Marathon in…
• March 9, 2024

  Criminal/Bad/Evil/Unusual/Ugly Behavior

  I think everyone throughout time (mostly) that experienced trauma (abuse, neglect, incest/molestation/rape, crime, poverty…. etc), people will find a way to adapt. Positively or negatively. I like choose your own adventure books. I like the opportunity to be a woman and to be able to use her voice. I like that I have the freedom…
• December 14, 2023

  Trauma & Me

  It’s hard to remember the good things. It honestly is. And after so much criticism from people who purported to love me, I almost shut down my blog. I decided to keep going because after all, this is for me. Not for anyone else. I started out with this as a means of reflecting on my life.  I realize that…
• October 14, 2023

  Tying it all together

  My life is a complicated mess. Tying together the family dysfunction, the RYR2 gene mutation, my rebelliousness, and the IALC (Independent Apostolic Lutheran Church – or Laestadianism.) My family (or at least four generations back) came from Finland. Lars Levi Laestadius created this religion called Laestadianism. It’s Lutheran. IALC is founded with the ideas of…
• July 30, 2023

  Well, This is Odd….

  Friday night, I was in my kitchen – as I often am. I was drinking my cup of coffee and had a moment. Eric has remarked from time to time that he smells cigarette smoke in the house when I’m gone. Neither one of us smoke, so it’s odd. Eric and I are firm believers…