Category: Mother
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What Would Mom & Dad Say
My podcast episode apparently ruffled some feathers. Despite not saying the direct name of the church. I gave the origin of the religion. My mom was mad at me when I said the name of the church incorrectly in a phone call. She almost slapped me across the face. I saw her reaction. I know…
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Trauma & Me
It’s hard to remember the good things. It honestly is. And after so much criticism from people who purported to love me, I almost shut down my blog. I decided to keep going because after all, this is for me. Not for anyone else. I started out with this as a means of reflecting on my life. I realize that…
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Tying it all together
My life is a complicated mess. Tying together the family dysfunction, the RYR2 gene mutation, my rebelliousness, and the IALC (Independent Apostolic Lutheran Church – or Laestadianism.) My family (or at least four generations back) came from Finland. Lars Levi Laestadius created this religion called Laestadianism. It’s Lutheran. IALC is founded with the ideas of…
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Week from Hell
My monsters are probably different than yours. Likelier a VERY tame representation of what a monster might look like. My monster looks like a well put together male or female, young or old, informed and uninformed citizen. They could be anything from a doctor, cna, food service worker, retail, or teacher. Anywhere in between. You’d…
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Not Hiding Anymore
For years, I’ve been trying to hide from Ashleigh. PTSD in full swing. Trying to make sense of the past in all of its glory. I witnessed and tried to help Ashleigh with everything that I had. Eric did as well. Mind you, as parents, we weren’t capable of understanding what we were faced with.…
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I’m Trying to Understand
Without a doubt, life is almost a never ending series of complications and general acceptances of what has come to pass. I have tried to be extraordinarily rational about why, but extremely judgmental about my inability to make change in my life. Much of the time, I get in my own way. And sometimes, trying…
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Mom, Covid-19, Quarantine, and an ungrateful daughter
I fashion myself after someone relatively high maintenance with low maintenance goals. I’m high maintenance because psychologically, I know I’m unwell. I need validation more than a frequent visitor to a commercial parking facility. I’m still trying to build myself up when I have perceptions that life is trying to tear me down. Lately I’ve…
Learning about Me 