Category: Self Care
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I Do Not Remember
I think one of the things that makes me so mad about PTSD is the memory issues. I cannot remember many periods of my life. Many years. I have blips of memories. I remember being in 1st grade. Studying the weather. I remember playing with certain friends during certain periods of time. I remember certain…
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What Would Mom & Dad Say
My podcast episode apparently ruffled some feathers. Despite not saying the direct name of the church. I gave the origin of the religion. My mom was mad at me when I said the name of the church incorrectly in a phone call. She almost slapped me across the face. I saw her reaction. I know…
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Who I Am
I’ve spent a long time identifying who I am as a victim of some fucked up circumstances. For years. I was modeled ignoring yourself and your needs, so, that was normal. I can’t exactly remember how long it’s been now, but it started out with Eric and I going to see Jason Mewes at Skyline…
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Hi! I’m Mentally Unwell. You?
I suppose I have walked around most of my life saying…. hi, I’m a victim of circumstances. Hi…. did you hear about my circumstances? Well…. let me tell you about those darned circumstances! I think I meant for it to sound how ‘badass I am… how much I have overcome’. It started to really say….…
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Something feels different
I feel my life is changing, just a bit. I’m still laying in my dark bedroom, just before bed, discussing my inner thoughts. I had a very tough beginning to my weekend. I got some distressing news about my daughter and the company she keeps. I made a decision, finally. I have to let go.…
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I am okay to be me
Something I wrote yesterday: I’d like to share it. I am okay to be me Whoever I declare “me” to be Fraud to you, friend to me My life may not exactly look like yours Equality A hope, a dream If I am like creator, of creator – How can I be disavowed by man?…
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No one ever asks for this
It’s true. I never imagined myself feeling like I was going to be a 15 year old until … Probably, now? (guess how old I actually am? Hint: I’m a few decades from 15 years old.) I have been living my life feeling like I’ve had to defend myself. For making bad decisions. For disappointing…
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Saying Goodbye, Saying Hello.. (Again)
I have been trying to evaluate things. My life. What’s important to me. Who I am, exactly. I came to a deep reflection today about myself. I’m not living my life. I’m living my life remembering bad things and relating them to experiences in my current life. I don’t see things around me and I…
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5/18/25. I am finally enough
I look at myself now, and I see things differently. When I was a teenager, I was allowed to do things I should never have done. I made choices to avoid being alone. And my ability to determine who was safe and was not, I had no ability to sense. I saw a very small…
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Teeth, Quality, and Breaking Down
I had all my teeth removed by the time I was in my 20’s. I didn’t exactly care for myself. Depression and poverty. Not fun times. Insurance will cover removal of teeth at $0 copay to over $1000 for a root canal and crown. I had two kids and a husband. I had no money.…
Learning about Me 