Category: Grief
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Trauma & Me
It’s hard to remember the good things. It honestly is. And after so much criticism from people who purported to love me, I almost shut down my blog. I decided to keep going because after all, this is for me. Not for anyone else. I started out with this as a means of reflecting on my life. I realize that…
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Tying it all together
My life is a complicated mess. Tying together the family dysfunction, the RYR2 gene mutation, my rebelliousness, and the IALC (Independent Apostolic Lutheran Church – or Laestadianism.) My family (or at least four generations back) came from Finland. Lars Levi Laestadius created this religion called Laestadianism. It’s Lutheran. IALC is founded with the ideas of…
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Well, This is Odd….
Friday night, I was in my kitchen – as I often am. I was drinking my cup of coffee and had a moment. Eric has remarked from time to time that he smells cigarette smoke in the house when I’m gone. Neither one of us smoke, so it’s odd. Eric and I are firm believers…
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Learning to be Different
I grew up with this idea of going to school and then continuing that schooling to become professional. Going to church. Getting married to that church guy/girl. And making babies. That’s the standard course. Try to have this viewpoint of having it together. All the while being a complete hot mess. My mom tried. And…
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Social Struggles & Self Reflection
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been in therapy. I’ve done a number of cool things since the last time I blogged. I walked on a trail (not exactly close to my house – but within driving distance) with Roux and had a blast. I also took a number of bike rides with Eric…
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Week from Hell
My monsters are probably different than yours. Likelier a VERY tame representation of what a monster might look like. My monster looks like a well put together male or female, young or old, informed and uninformed citizen. They could be anything from a doctor, cna, food service worker, retail, or teacher. Anywhere in between. You’d…
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The Cranberries (Band, Not Fruit)
When I was a teenager, I discovered The Cranberries. Just like many American people, I fell in love. The sound, the beautiful sound. Oh my word, it was as if I found an angel singing through my radio. I spent countless hours singing with Dolores O’Riordan on the radio or on my electronic devices. That…
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Mom, Covid-19, Quarantine, and an ungrateful daughter
I fashion myself after someone relatively high maintenance with low maintenance goals. I’m high maintenance because psychologically, I know I’m unwell. I need validation more than a frequent visitor to a commercial parking facility. I’m still trying to build myself up when I have perceptions that life is trying to tear me down. Lately I’ve…
Learning about Me 