Category: Grief
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I Do Not Remember
I think one of the things that makes me so mad about PTSD is the memory issues. I cannot remember many periods of my life. Many years. I have blips of memories. I remember being in 1st grade. Studying the weather. I remember playing with certain friends during certain periods of time. I remember certain…
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What Would Mom & Dad Say
My podcast episode apparently ruffled some feathers. Despite not saying the direct name of the church. I gave the origin of the religion. My mom was mad at me when I said the name of the church incorrectly in a phone call. She almost slapped me across the face. I saw her reaction. I know…
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Who I Am
I’ve spent a long time identifying who I am as a victim of some fucked up circumstances. For years. I was modeled ignoring yourself and your needs, so, that was normal. I can’t exactly remember how long it’s been now, but it started out with Eric and I going to see Jason Mewes at Skyline…
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Hi! I’m Mentally Unwell. You?
I suppose I have walked around most of my life saying…. hi, I’m a victim of circumstances. Hi…. did you hear about my circumstances? Well…. let me tell you about those darned circumstances! I think I meant for it to sound how ‘badass I am… how much I have overcome’. It started to really say….…
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Basic Dignities
Life has been a complete dumpster fire for me for so long. I have been stuck in this mental purgatory that lasted so long. I didn’t understand what happened to Dianne. That took place in 1988. Then my brother Brian was diagnosed with having the RYR2 Gene Mutation (2014/2015) which (when activated) cause syncope (heart…
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Saying Goodbye, Saying Hello.. (Again)
I have been trying to evaluate things. My life. What’s important to me. Who I am, exactly. I came to a deep reflection today about myself. I’m not living my life. I’m living my life remembering bad things and relating them to experiences in my current life. I don’t see things around me and I…
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5/18/25. I am finally enough
I look at myself now, and I see things differently. When I was a teenager, I was allowed to do things I should never have done. I made choices to avoid being alone. And my ability to determine who was safe and was not, I had no ability to sense. I saw a very small…
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Safety – Feeling Denied (Until I Left)
I hated what the Upper Peninsula of Michigan represented as a kid. Many people from outside of that area looked at it as … well, undeveloped and people were hicks. Drink beer, go to jail, sing stupid songs, go to deer camp, and lose MANY MANY IQ points in the process. I didn’t feel like…
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Love & Support
Foreigner created a song called “I Want to Know What Love is” in 1984. I think everyone alive on this giant rock we call Earth wants to have Love. Love without support is little help sometimes. Even the most aboriginal group of people rely on their brothers and sisters in their community (respectively, not literally).…
Learning about Me 