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Not Hiding Anymore
For years, I’ve been trying to hide from Ashleigh. PTSD in full swing. Trying to make sense of the past in all of its glory. I witnessed and tried to help Ashleigh with everything that I had. Eric did as well. Mind you, as parents, we weren’t capable of understanding what we were faced with.…
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Let ME Talk About Sex
Let me tell you something about me. I’m going to be very open about something I’ve never really been open about before. Please bare with me. This is NOT an easy topic for me. As a kid, sex seemed to be a topic that was left to the fifth grade classroom. It was dirty, it…
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Something New
It all seems so surreal. As if it’s not me, but I know it is. My world feels absolutely upside down. I’m finding my voice again. I’ve begun to realize, despite saying it all these years that I’m not the sum of my parts. I’ve held on to this anger from so very long ago.…
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Strangest Feelings
I’ve come to a crossroads in my life. I’m nearing 45 years old and I’m an empty nester. My husband just recently quit smoking cigarettes – so, that’s happened. We’ve had improvements to our home including getting the electricity in our home updated, insulation in the basement, outer home lined with dirt and rocks to…
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Learning Cont’d
Damn. I guess I can only start by saying when I first started blogging I was so lost. I was so confused. And I was MEGA Angry. Life seemed to keep stuffing me down the shitter every turn I made. If I hadn’t gotten through an entire turn… that’s okay! Life would find a way…
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Victimization Review
I believe that it’s really difficult to change a mind set. I was a victim, but now I’m a survivor. There are still times where I revert back into victim mode. Poor me, look at how I suffered. Instead of making circumstances in my life to define me, I’m walking a better truth. Despite all…
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Sometimes
Sometimes it’s hard to imagine that I’m grown up. I pictured myself at this age being so much more put together. And in many ways, I’m as imperfect as everyone else. I work hard, I have thoughts I think are absolutely right and everyone else’s opinions are ridiculous if they don’t match my own, I…
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Electronic Distractions
I find myself increasingly involved in electronic distractions. Instead of involving myself in things that adults should do, I play cell phone and tablet games. Then when all that fails, ps4 Diablo 3. I’ve beat the game … 3 times now and am playing segments in Torment 1 mode. I feel like as part of…
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Life IS Full of Surprises
I left one of my jobs in a bad way, many years ago. I wanted to tell my hotel boss this when I eventually sit down for my annual review. I suffered, badly. My ex husband was at this point in time a horrible father. He’d sleep, keep the doorknobs to the bedrooms tied together…
PTSD, My Life, My Changes 